29 January 2021 | Birthday girl

I could go on and on and on about how they day went, how it made me feel, what I eventually learned and how terribly grateful I am. But the moment has passed, taking with it the ingenuity that I need to write about it. But I don’t want to forget the day or the…

2/8/2021 9:10 PM I don’t want to forget this moment

2 FEBURARY 2021|TORMENT

I try so hard to be the perfect person. To touch others with ingenuity and love. But I am deliberate destruction and the touch of chaos. Whenever I seem to make any progress, I fall back into the same old spiel of ego. My vile throat leaks poison and my fingers draw hatred into words….

16 January 2021 | Best self

I’m my best self when I fix the chain of cycle through lubricant and rust stained arms and broken nails, without once asking for assistance. I’m my best self when I force myself to brush and wash my face with ice cold water at the wee hours of morning because there’s no one I’m letting…

13 JANUARY 2021

What is this constant want for directions when I have no set destinations?

12 January 2021 |HOLD ON

My brother has it all figured out. In every fight, however big or small, no matter whose fault it is, however bad it hurts, he turns it into a violent hug and he holds as thight as his tiny frame allows and there’s nothing like a kid hugging you tight through his tears to make…

11 January 2021

I spent three hours planning a trip with a friend, what a exercise in futility. I think we both knew deep down that none of our dreamy eyed plans ever work but it still felt good acting like we have control over our own lives. Had some relatives over, brewed them tea, I forgot sugar…

Strange it is, how I compulsively overshare and yet no one manages to know anything about me

If I could just hope to change even a scrape of the world for the better, I’d do anything to do just that

There are times when everything is devoid of meaning. But then I recall, there’s something that brings me here time and again to share my thoughts to the unknown. and there’s something that brings you here to read them too. There has to be some rational meaning to life

It’s 8 January 2021,I’m almost in my last teens, but not yet, not just yet. There are twenty two days of eighteens at my disposal. Twenty two nights that come with more than opportunities to hold eighteen in the palm of my hands and stare it in the face with my strongest gaze.How am I…

forlorn | 22 December 2020 | eeks

You spit and stagger, Stumble and stand up; but at the end of the day your dreams are forlorn. and your attempts, however pious, are all ineffectual. It’s taking everything I have to hold on because god letting go seems such an easy choice right now.

Hurdles

Some personal hurdles had me looking up ‘why values are important’ today. And I found more answers in my heart than I did on the internet. Values aren’t a part of life, they are a way of life. And If you have no values, you have nothing. It can feel freeing for a while. It…

You Could Rattle the Stars. You Could Do Anything, If Only You Dared. And Deep Down, You Know It, Too. That’s what Scares You Most. -Sarah J Maas

“I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some…

Don’t look for new ways to flee across the chessboard. Listen to hear checkmatespoken directly to you.—Rumi I look for any epiphany everywhere I go: In autumn leaves; In changing seasons; In empty vessels; In echoes; In the dark veils of night. I think and think and think some more until words are not words…

One who has a ‘why’ to live for can endure almost any ‘how’. – Friedrich Nietzsche

19 October 2020 |Primrose dreams

My dreams are like evening primroses, they bloom at the dawns call. They flower like a surreal miracle. Then the mornings arise and I have to shove them into caskets and bury them in the very depths of the same heart that spent hours irrigating their roots. As if that’s not enough, I force myself…

15 October ’20 | Sending hope

In my world, mornings are the middle of the day, not the start. I wake up to a busy house with four others but god knows, we know how to create a scene. In my world the house is not made of rooms but feelings. Every door leads to another, it’s the catacombs of love…

10 October 2020

My brain is an excited bird trapped in limitations of its own. I’m yet to learn flight, but I reckon fluttering my wings and jumping around in attempts is enough at the moment.

 For a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, sees the dawn before the rest of the world. OSCAR WILDE, 1888

3 October 2020 ||Blue

When the world is finally silent of it’s every ensuing chaos. And the minds takes over with it’s cacophonous blabbering; That’s when the demons expose their true selves. They don’t appear on breezy mornings, nor do the choose the jet packed evenings. These demons of grief appear at night. And the demand acknowledgement. It is…

Bloom || 25 September’ 20

All my life, I’ve chased perfection.Forever friendships, one true love, lifelong goals, same old favorite colors. And even when things looked meek, I’d tell myself, it’ll pass. That I just had to keep smiling, fake it till I become it.Brag about friendship that were never as strong as I tricked myself into believing. Boast about…

23 September 2020 | Random

Should life really be a meadow when you so happen to desire a waterfall, an avalanche and a thunderstorm. Should life really be routine and repetitive when you want it to be random and rebellious. Why are the simplest things the hardest to find, like romance, joy and purpose.

22 September | homie

So I tried writing a poem,On your silly dumbass self.But the pages soon caught dust,Like old antiques on the shelves.My mind soon grew cobwebs,And the ink had all dried.But your dumbass couldn’t be wrapped in words,No matter how hard I tried.So, I thought to myself at last,Let’s write from the very start.And I closed my…

21 September | you

I’ve already spent hours staring at the screen. I mean, I’d prefer to write on crisp pages instead on virtual notes, but I hate to have anything to do with my words once they leave me. And so, I do not wish to type all over again. But the funny things is, I’ve nothing to…

Lies leave me feeling so dirty, no amount of cleaning can scrub it off.

15 September 2020 | Somedays.

Some days it’s my ears that I want to break off and set aside for a while, just so I don’t have to listen to things that have long stopped making sense. Somedays it’s my eyes that I want to dispose off, no longer up for the mild mannered routine. Somedays it’s my heart.

what I carry within me is too much idealism for one body, too much fire for one vessel

Run | 11 September 2020

My ability to burn old Bridges and disappear astonish some of those closest to me. The bonds I make are threadbare and thin and I don’t think twice before breaking them in two. And I have no excuse to make, nor any regret, because, I know it well,that I am a cyclone waiting to happen,…

11 September 2020| lately

Lately, this thought has grabbed hold of me, what if we’re all just one person, living different lives in different time spans. What if you are your bully, your friend, your role model, what if you are the murderer on the front page of daily news, you are the famous blogger you can’t help but…

midnight hour

9 AUGUST, 2020 As my fingers float on the keyboard, fishing for words, I have to force myself to take a moment to recollect. Some days my mind turns into a coven of fleeting thoughts. I am not a self-proclaimed philosopher, nor do I fancy myself as someone extraordinary, but in the mind of my…

midnight hour

9 AUGUST, 2020 As my fingers float on the keyboard, fishing for words, I have to force myself to take a moment to recollect. Some days my mind turns into a coven of fleeting thoughts. I am not a self-proclaimed philosopher, nor do I fancy myself as someone extraordinary, but in the mind of my…

8 September 2020| Frog

A frog in the pond, No world of my own. I talk to the creepers, The pebbles are my songs. Solitude makes words echo, The only applaud, is my own. With every leap of faith, I see a place unknown. I’ve memorized each splash, Each sound’s a familiar tone. But I’m a frog in the…

6 September 2020| Tonight

Tonight it was raining hard and I’d most likely have gone to bed. But something made me skimmy through my stuff. And there I was, with a box of paints and an almost finished art file. As my world slept, I was up, outside, breathing the rain, painting the skies in the middle of the…

I’m a bug about to be squished under the weight of life.

my mum is a shrine full of stories and my dad is the best storyteller I know.

4 September 2020| outlet

What is it when you have so much love inside you begging to be let out? What is it when there’s so much determination looking for an outlet? What is this avalanche of passion inside me constantly on the look out for a vessel to channelize it? Why is my unrest mind whispering to me,…

1 September 2020 |Who are you?

Is there someone,Who longs for me?In ways of worshipOn nights full of reveries. Is there someoneWho aches for me?As words written to set freeWho is he that would give meA moment of his time,Not for complaints and coersionsAs a muse for his rhymeWho is he, I wonder, Who could fall for my rough edges? Who…

31 August 2020 | Fate

Fate looks like papery spiders. And it weaves a nest so dissonant. You and I can only stand afar and observe it’s callousness like inanimate orbs frozen into space. It’s sordid games and rude rebuttals scar us like defiant wake up calls. We float in its waves like an autumn leaf strung in high winds….

29 AUGUST 2020

I have a stark clarity of what I don’t want in life and perhaps, that’s answer enough from the gods.

29 August 2020

The world works on absurd agendas, I am my own person and yet, I live by standards created long before my arrival. My hands itch to create. My fingers wish to birth worlds that would ease the pressure of pettiness. On magical moonlight evenings, I wish for time to come to a standstill. Somedays, my…

24 August 2020

Life is in cement cracks growing like little rebel dandelions, like a melody travelling miles, an echo shouting ‘I am here, I exist, I belong’, occupying space ready to take upon the world.

The brief of everything.

A fresh perspective and raw insights. A beautiful page spanning everything under the sky. Must follow! Check out ‘The brief of everything’ The brief of everything

16 August 2020 | courage

Dear diary, I stand on cross-roads knowing mighty well that a choice has to be made. One that I’ll have to make myself. But it is the knowledge that no matter what choice I make, I’ll have to give up all others, that is making my ribs collapse upon themselves. I can’t help but feel…

6 August 2020| life

The sky is a beautiful painting today, a canvas brought to life by a dreamy artist. To think that I’m witnessing this beauty, to think that I’m below this magnificence,  I must be really privileged. It’s moments like these when I’m most vulnerable and most honest with myself. Moments that distinguish my soul from my…

Want more | 6 August 2020

I just don’t like the mainstream life we all are set to live, the very idea of 5-9 job, two holidays a year (or less),  a psuedo happy wedding, maybe kids, it disappoints me beyond compare. That the idea of life we had as kids was a mere mirage the adults cooked and fed to…

4 August 2020

Some people are music, You only need a smink of their melody to set everything back right. Just a smink. An evening rhythm. As their voice steps down your throat into the cages of your ribs and fills you with warmth.

If my life was a song, it’d be ‘blow away’ a fine frenzy

29 July 2020

Bite my tongue, Still my hand Blue sea and skies, No sight of land.

28 July 2020 |

Dear diary, There seems just a little distance distinguishing self-sure from conceited. I find myself constantly treading on a fine line between aware and vain and I feel as though it is in my nature to be insatiable. Undeterred, unsatisfied, chaotic, constantly on a look out for the next best thing. I am what people…

why didn’t she? |

Why didn’t she fancy you?You can’t help but wonderBut lust is as fleeting as day,It comes with a timeline’s blunderSome people are more than just an ensemble,Not a pretty thing on displayTheir skin is just a cover,Hiding what miracles underlay.Why didn’t she see you before?What a sad question to chimeBecause a love like yours is…

Kargil diwas, 26 July 2020

Kargil, the land of victory!The crown of India is its decree.A hundred Indians rejoice,At the rich stories of it’s history.High mountains and snowy-peaks,Blood- ridden earth and corpse heaps.Rivers of red muddled with gloomWar scarred the land,Both green and blue.As warriors from our land,Walked hand in hand.A saga narrates, the shouts of ‘jai hind’As, all sects…

24 July 2020 | Blue

I watch the rain through a dew tainted car window. The cars look like a glowing mess of colors. Headlights shimmering like crazy magical sirens. The road are smeared with a layer of diamond studded gold. That shines like a miracle. The sky is dark blue and frankly, so is my heart. A little blue….

21 July 2020

Build a shrine out of fleeting feelings and pray to whoever holds the leash. Don’t let go. Don’t loose grip. Don’t abandon me. Keep me in control. Soak in rain, never drown. Bask in sun, never burn. Live, but not too much.

It’s absurd how hard we try to be the incorrect interpretation of ourselves we derived as a kid

15 July 2020

Separated by eons of time and space, you and I, we are one and we’re still two different people. One of these days, I’ll take your advice. I’ll wake up before the sun rises, I’ll go out, in the dark… And I’ll run. So fast, I leave behind the winds, So swift, I leave behind…

Criminal

Please talk of romanticism like it’s a crime, But in a world that istrying so hard to numb you, to turn you deaf to the sunsets and blindto the music. It is no short of a rebellion to feel. To dance with thewinds and watch rhythms move through the air, to have a littlesave-the-world in…

3 July 20

I’m afraid, If I don’t make a choice, a choice will be made for me. But I’m not sure what to choose

Miracles

17 June 2020

You belong among the wildflowers. You belong somewhere you feel free. 🎶 They say the world is ending on 21st, well I wouldn’t have a regret because it’s been a wholesome journey. I wish on the last of my days, I’m surrounded by my family. Laughing at the poorest of my brother’s jokes and cackling…

15 June 2020

First to forget. First to apologize. Doormat. Ready to be trampled. Ready to walked all over. Filled with meaningless servitude and unnecessary devotion. Most women in my life. I beg to differ. I aspire to break free from all these roles. To explode in a million stars and just disperse. Away. From fear. From need….

Nothing planned ever works quite like impromptu living

13 June 2020

‘Birds born in a cage, see flying as an illness’ Dream. Wreck it. Create hurricanes. Spend nights awake and days fantasizing. Wringe every ounce of meaning out of the days. create. Discover. Envision. A life half lived, is a searing wound festering till it rots away in offense The roots of my being lie in…

12,june 2020

So this human, he talks of the universe like his second home. he’s got his views sorted. Knows everything there is to know. He comes and goes as he pleases (much to my disappointment). He’s punk rock and mellow melodies. (And so much more) A little obsessed with details and death. But for someone who…

The sky is a graveyard of stars How I wish, to mourn forever.

Right company can be life changing.

Right company can be life changing.

Start

It’s scary to start and worse to imagine staying the same

Start

It’s scary to start and worse to imagine staying the same

In my cocoon for a while longer

In my cocoon for a while longer

Let’s keep our inner child alive.

As young children, we can’t wait to grow up and get on with our ‘adult live’. We grow up too old and too fast. Suddenly, we find ourselves at the brink of adulthood. The ripe age of eighteen and we are abruptly stranded on a foreign territory with no respite but our own skills and…

So I am on Spotify, I have a podcast channel. It’s called tater tots of life by eureka. Do check it out 🙂

The inevitable future |

From the ragged quote hanging on my wall to the latest post on my Pinterest feed. Everything revolves around the uncertain tomorrow. As to why I bother writing this is a question for another day. But here’s the thought that has been eating up on my insides for years now (and bear in mind that…

We decide our value.

Try

Try walking all over me, and don’t blame me if you stumble.

Life

I seldom find meaning in life. But when I do, it often creeps up on me from behind and whispers lowly, ‘beautiful, isn’t it?’ Somewhere, two hearts are doomed to never quite meet. Somehow, you find lifelong company in arms you least expected. The day ends. The nights pass. What an awful confusion life is.

Lost myself to the fear of not losing others

Woman are dangerous! Beware!

The thing about us women is that we drink the injustice like nectar. They say you cannot be peaceful if you aren’t capable of great violence. Otherwise, you are just harmless. And we are definitely not harmless. We stretch and stretch like a thread. Quite. Without complaints. Without a noise. We’re pulled till the extremities…

Again and again and again

I think I’m a little too love- starved. Never quite satisfied with any of the relationships in my life. Always wanting a little more. Always hungry for something unknown. Stuck in an eternal reverie. Trying to escape the clutches of reality at every morbid chance. I try to out-run the facts. I sprint and crawl…

I don’t know how to help you my moon. For I don’t know what hurts. But if my words are your panacea, I’ll die as your remedy

When love arrives

If I could. I’d put so much love in my words, they’d make you marvel forever. They would rip your jaw open, and slip down your throat like the very weight of the world.If I could, I’d cry for the mountains that beg to scream and echo instead. I’d cry for the rivers aching to…

Sleepless. Sonder.

Falling in love

I want sudden, unpredictable, insane love. I don’t want to ‘get to know’ someone and learn to love him. I don’t want mere similarity and biased chemistry. I want a connection that comes once in a lifetime and sparks. A storm sweeping me off my feet and out of my senses. After all it’s called…

A familiar smell

For the first time in what felt like a distant century, a familiar smell wafts into my senses, a fragrance so  delectable and homely. A memory of my father’s arms as he shook me to sleep on warm September nights, years ago. A sudden ache for my mother’s soothing lullabies and her hand caressing my…

My blemished moon, My distant sun, And my lethal pain. My heart. My beloved grace. In your arms, In your eyes, Is my death bed. My end. Each of my sighs, Is followed by your face.

The sea

I arrived inked in the sun and roasted red by the tides. The sea was my only lover and only in it’s waves, did I find solace. To love something so intensely and yet shiver in its company. To run open-armed into it’s shores and cower in his roar of welcome. To hate and admire…

Rain today.

It pours and pours and pours. Maybe the heavens descended.

Corona

It’s not death I’m afraid of. It’s the grief of a life deliberately wasted over nothing worthwhile. Of a life that wouldn’t mean anything, wouldn’t impact thale world. Would be oblivious. But then the earth is littered with corpses that are know unknown.

Dismal.

On a dark day, I look in to mirror and whisper to myself, ‘you are beautiful’ What turn of events.

Riddle me this, what’s your poison of choice?

As a traveller is to journey and a sailor to Voyage. I am to euphoria and the world is to love.

My muse

Every once is a while, muse knocks at my door. when I refuse to open, it jumps past the windows and settles itself on the my couch. Silent. Quiet. But alert. It stares openly. Analysing me. It questions my morals. Holds me at an arms length. Still silent. Still quiet. Still alert. Her hand glides…

My muse

Every once is a while, muse knocks at my door. when I refuse to open, it jumps past the windows and settles itself on the my couch. Silent. Quiet. But alert. It stares openly. Analysing me. It questions my morals. Holds me at an arms length. Still silent. Still quiet. Still alert. Her hand glides…